The one for difficult relationships

 THE GREY ROCK METHOD

Refuge of the abused

Ever wondered what would Bonnie and Clyde do if one was not interested in the other's life at all?

Or have you thought how a child would react to their parents pep talk with being out-and-out disconnected with it?

There are a lot of people out there who have an association with someone that they came across in the walk of their life, someone that they took along with themselves only to later realize that the person might not be actually the one that could release the essence they have been expecting from them. But who knows....even the scroungers can be very onerous.

Here comes the concept of The Gray Rock method.

A communication strategy for disengaging from a manipulative, constantly challenging or emotionally abusive person when cutting the ties with them doesn't really appeal to be an option that can be chosen.

One thing to be jotted here is that the relationship need not always be that of your beloved. It can be the one with your parents, your siblings, your workers, friends, any other family members and much more....

Being a gray rock means:

• Being boring or uninterested in conversation
• Responding with short, neutral responses as far as possible
• Not showing emotions or reactions
• Not having a "real talk", personal opinion or personal information....things you are up to
• The very same thing but the opposite way...not getting involved in their life, at least for "real"
• AND OF COURSE, not telling them that you are being a rock

No worries...some key phrases that are an integral part of the daily conversation in such a case are:

BUT...HOW DOES IT WORK?

The goal is to:

• Help interact with someone in a safe way
• Keeping communication non-emotional, non-dramatic and non-personal
• Helps create a distance from the people who feel unsafe or energetically/emotionally depleting

This method is though, different from stone walling but is often confused, due to a very thin line between the two. A common approach to distinguish between the two  is:

Grey rock	Stone Walling
-> Being uninteresting or boring in a neutral way: For ex: Have you watched 'x' movie?; How is the weather out there?; keeping the conversation minimal	-> A refusal to communicate or cooperate in any way; passive aggressive behavior
-> Done with the intent to protect oneself	-> Done with the intent of controlling or manipulating others

SOME NITTY GRITTYS TO BE KEPT IN MIND

• May be used after you have attempted to clearly + firmly communicated your needs and repeatedly set boundaries (with no change or improvement)
• Its not a long terms or permanent solution and does not hold water for everyone. In many cases, exit plan must be kept in place.
• Being a 'gray rock' over an extensive time period might take a mental toll on you.
• In case of repetitive abuse, seek help from a mental health professional or support group as this might not be fruitful as it seems to be.
• Despite its latent powers, grey rock has a con to it. People who have toxic or narcissistic tendencies react abruptly, stubbornly, and often with aggression if their tactics are not working.